Justifying Patterns

I had a falling out with an acquaintance recently. We couldn't see eye to eye on an arrangement. Part of it was my fault (admittedly), and he was to blame for the other. Some words were exchanged, and the relationship ended. He did not believe he shared any of the blame. It reminded me of a parent who defends their child, even when they are at guilt. I then asked myself, "What if he was right?"

I don't mind being wrong. That doesn't bother me. What bothers me is how I tried to solve the equation.  What happened between point A and point B? I haven't always thought this way, but I have learned to reevaluate some things. Asking myself if I was wrong shows an open mind, but should not be mistaken for being correct. Intelligence is entertaining multiple ideas without, necessarily, accepting any of them. It doesn't indicate correct decision making.

He sat there, prideful, stubborn, and angry. He insulted me personally, and otherwise. His behavior was demeaning. Still, that does not make my case. I am not justified because of his actions. Days later, as I was preparing to take my daughter for a walk around the park, I was listening to a Cold Play song. Part of the lyrics played, "When you get what you want, but not what you need..." It opened my eyes. He gave me everything that I had asked for, but it wasn't enough. It wasn't what I needed. I didn't know what I needed. The equation had variables that I didn't understand.

Patterns (or habits) are repeated tendencies or practices. He had a pattern of alienating others, but correlations don't imply causation. Even the Fuhrer (bad analogy) could have done something good in the last days of the Third Reich. Going back to the Cold Play song... I can't fix him. I can only attempt to fix myself. I have also shown a pattern of disdain for certain people in my life. This event wasn't the first time this has ever happened to me. It was interesting that two people with similar patterns would confront each other.

As experienced by Saul (known as Paul) via dues ex machina en route to Damascus, people can instantly change. I've been struggling to understand the nature of relationships. I wait too long to voice my opinion in some cases, and in other cases I cast judgment too soon. I need to find the happy medium, instead of being on the polar extremes. In the case of the individual mentioned earlier, I believe I've done all I can. All I can do is continue.